Five Mistakes That Sink Proposals – and How to Avoid Them

by Scott Johnston, Johnston Training Group

Your proposal is in – with 10 minutes to spare. As usual, the final 24 hours was a race to the finish. The usual suspects didn't provide their content, but you "borrowed" some copy from that other proposal that was similar – sort of. Did it get proofed after those last-minute – no, really last-minute – changes? Who knows?

You definitely captured the excitement your firm has for this project. It's right there in the first line of the cover letter: "Our firm is excited to be a part of this project." 

This just in: You didn't get shortlisted.

At Johnston Training Group, we review hundreds of proposals and interview dozens of selection panel members about what they want, don't want, and really don't want to see in proposals. Here are ways to avoid five common mistakes that lower scores and give you free time on interview day.

1. Be a wingman, not a salesman. 
Have you ever met someone at a party who talked only about himself? Or told you he was the best at something you knew how to do well? He is probably not the kind of person you'd like to work with.

The same applies to proposals. It's natural to want to talk about your strengths as a firm and how good you are. But only your (potential) client really gets to judge that – if they hire you.

Clients have specific concerns, needs, and motivators for every project. Figure out what they are and then describe your strengths in a way that is focused on your client's concerns.

2. Get specific.
It's easy to slip into generalities about things like budget, schedule, and safety. What's hard is getting down to the nitty-gritty about how your process for managing the budget, schedule, and safety is different from every other firm. Include unique details about how you manage the budget in order to stand out in the eyes of the selection panel. 

For example, do you hold weekly budget meetings with all the stakeholders and issue a report? Or do you use a process that matches the percentage of project completion to the amount of remaining budget every day and make it available to all stakeholders online 24/7? Which idea is more memorable?

3. Make every word tell.
As you may know, many proposals are now implementing strict page limits that reduce the amount of content. Or to put it another way: Many proposals have page limits. Same thought, half the words, twice the impact. One sentence doesn't make too much difference, but with more than 50 pages – you get the idea. Take a hard look at your writing and start trimming.

Start with the Strunk and White classic The Elements of Style and read the chapter on omitting needless words. Don't like books? Download Wordrake.com and get recommendations for removing clutter in everything you write in Windows-based Word documents or Outlook emails. Your proofreader will thank you.

4. Learn from history so you are not doomed to repeat it.
Sometimes repeats are a good thing. Super Bowl wins, anniversaries, trips to the buffet. But repeating ideas in a proposal is the equivalent of that guy at the party telling you the same story twice. It's so painful to hear – and read.

Redundant content is often caused by too many cooks in the kitchen. When multiple people prepare content for the same proposal, there is bound to be overlap. That's why it's critical to assign who is doing what early and determine what exactly each person is writing about. The client needs to hear only once about the special way you use BIM. If it doesn't connect early on, talking about it again with extra detail won't make any difference.

5. Don't be passive-aggressive. 
From a client: "Extensive training on the new safety procedures was required to be attended by the maintenance staff." Umm...who is doing what here?

Passive voice – where the subject is acted on by the verb – is great for white papers or school (where most of us learned to write). But in proposals, passive voice waters down the impact, fails to assign responsibility for actions, and stretches the word count – strike one, two, and three.

Active voice – where the subject performs the action stated by the verb – is the voice of responsibility. It's "Tom changed the flat tire." instead of "The tire was changed by Tom." And that safety program? "The maintenance staff attended extensive, required training on the new safety procedures." A stronger statement and four fewer words – a win/win.

Hot tip: If your sentence has the words or phrases Was, Were, Has been, Have been, Will be, or Being, you may be operating in passive voice. Get active! Google active vs. passive voice, or watch a video online, like Active vs. Passive Voice (and Zombies).

Avoid these five common mistakes and take your proposals from also-rans to the winner's circle. Want to learn more? Attend The Johnston Training Group Strategic Writing Workshop on Thursday, March 31 in Seattle. You'll improve your skills and learn a process to write quickly and effectively for everything from proposals to emails. 

Scott Johnston, JTG principal, strategist, and facilitator, has more than 20 years of experience communicating complex ideas, processes, and services through clear, concise, and compelling language. Scott facilitates JTG’s Strategic Writing, Presentation Skills, and Interview Coaching programs that enable professional services firms to differentiate themselves and win more work. In addition, Scott leads the JTG Selection Panel research and has conducted in-person interviews with panel members from numerous public and private organizations.